Forgive You, Forget You Not.

If someone asked you to pinpoint one incident in your life that actually defined you as a person what would it be? Something that forced you to face the harsh realities that you were earlier oblivious to.
I for one keep replaying some such incidents in my head over and over again. No, it cannot be that people are just evil. But some of them are, and most of them disguise themselves well. Promises can be broken and lies must be said. 
As children we develop a defense mechanism, block the unhappy events, put it behind a wall, imagine it's a dream and get back to the playground. As an adult it becomes highly difficult to keep this wall up or for that matter put anything behind it. Your childhood defense technique will only turn you into a psycho to say the least.
Crying till your eyes bleed, curling up on the bathroom floor and wishing you'd just die there, stifling your cries in a bustling house, all for people who hurt you, all for people who instead should cry for what they've done.

Holding a grudge, and not letting go of the anger only hurts you more than its hurts the perpetrator of the crime. Yes, hurting anyone is a crime, probably not punishable by law but that's why we have the saying," What goes around, comes around", or so they say to console themselves.

I personally think the above quote is sadistic. Why should you care? Why should you base your life's motto on someone else's unhappiness? If you are delighted by somebody's tragedy then what is the difference between you and the person who hurt you in the first place?

I disliked some people too, I could feel myself spitting poison out when I spoke of them, then I realized I was taking most of it in. Most of the people I've had a tiff with have made attempts at reconciliation which makes forgiving them easier. To ask for forgiveness is a hard thing to do, to accept your fault, to accept that you are wrong, so I believe people when they do. Forgiven are the ones that forgive.

But how do you forgive someone who has never asked for it?Someone who doesn't regret, doesn't remember, doesn't care.
Let's face it, every good deed that we do has a selfish motive behind it. As weird as it may sound, I find it extremely satisfying when I help someone, only people who have something that others want are asked to help. 

So if holding a grudge is slowly consuming you with hatred and bitterness while the other person is going about their life happily, then maybe it's time to help yourself, to let go, to forgive. It's time to yank out the double edged sword that is slowly but ruthlessly ripping you apart. 

Nevertheless, I don't encourage people to forget the incidents that hurt them. Forget the people but not what they taught you. It's what defines you, how you deal with situations when you are a complete mess, how you deal with people who put you there.

It's a reminder, a constant reminder of what people are capable of, a reminder of what you are capable of.


P.S. When I hurt someone I can't seem to get it out of my head, which makes me apologize. If you've hurt someone and you're aware of it then you must apologize, you never know who you picked out of a rut. Plus if people would make it aware that they are hurt and not play games, apologizing would be easier =)