I've noticed that I've started most of my last few blog posts with 'it's been a long time' yada yada and this time it has been super long. But I'm only writing right now because I don't want the last post to be the first post people read when they stumble upon my blog. I'm not very proud of it.
So why don't I just go ahead and delete it, you ask? As embarrassing as it may be it's something I wrote and quite possibly found quite funny when I posted it. And just like many mistakes in my life, this one cannot be erased.
Talking about mistakes the theater class I'm doing this summer totally seems like one. I've plunged so far away from my comfort zone thanks to this course that it scares me. Notice I use the word 'plunge'.
I hate being out of my comfort zone, everybody does. Somehow for most it turns out be quite a revelation for me its more of a 'take a deep breath and get over with it' moment.
I'm okay with the 'make 500 collages and present them to the class 1 day from now', it's the realistic acting I don't get. How many of us are realistically portraying our true feelings everyday, anyway? I feel like I'm walking on thin ice, the need to be politically correct is on the rise. And as people keep getting more and more sensitive with regards to their religion, sexual orientation and economic status the ice just keeps getting thinner. Why is it so hard to listen to the truth much less say it out loud?
And then come the pictures, the goddamn pictures on Facebook, twitter and the new cool guy on the block Instagram. I've always questioned the truth behind pictures. The smiles that people hold onto for a second and as soon as the camera flashes 'BAM' the frowns are on again. I remember this one time my friends from university were clicking a picture and me and my friend both being the 'non cheesy', 'eww stop touching me' kind of people, HELD EACH OTHER. FOR A PICTURE. And as soon as the the camera flashed, there we were awkward and wondering what the hell that was all about. The picture however, is one of my favorite, the best of ours.
It just seems like all the common people are going places, hanging out with their friends, going to university and most importantly eating GOOD FOOD. Privacy? Phish.
And then there are the celebrities that are desperately trying to hang onto every piece of their lost privacy. They've got attention and don't want it and we the common people are starving for it.
And as I go up and down the elevator practicing for my theater assignment I realize it's there where at least, I am my most real self. Awkward and unsure.
I guess all of us have our own retreats, where we let down our masks and show our real selves even if it is just for a flash of a second. CHEESE !